Never Do Anything, Ever

Never Do Anything, Ever

Jim Benton's Tales From Mackerel Middle School

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Her best friend's a backstabber. Her worst enemy is a sweetheart. And her dog is just waiting for the right moment to seek his revenge. Why should Jamie even bother going to school? Why not? After a run-in with Mega-Popular Angeline, aka Pure Evil, Jamie reforms her selfish ways & becomes the decent human being she never thought she could be. But she quickly realizes that helping others kind of stinks. Is someone trying to thwart her attempts at irresistible inner beauty? Or will Jamie finally achieve the "I'm an angel" glow she knows will make Hudson Rivers fall madly in love w/ her?
ISBN: 9780439629089
043962908X
Branch Call Number: BEN

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Quotes

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SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“My pants cut the cheese. Let one fly. Baked a batch of brownies.”

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“How Superheroes Make Money:
- Spider-Man knits sweaters.
- Superman screw the lids on pickle jars.
- Iron Man, as you would suspect, just irons.”

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“I'm telling you, the gorgeous of the world can actually look pretty intimidating when they scowl. Imagine a snow-white swan with a scary tattoo holding a chain saw. There's just no way to really prepare for that.”

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“Love makes the world go 'round but I'm pretty sure money has to do with it, too.”

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“Things Isabella Wouldn't Care About:
- Titanic sinking again.
- Metror striking Earth and landing directly on top of world's most innocent panda.
- Titanic sinking again and this time the entire crew is puppies.”

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“I had the great idea of using markers to gently color the ants so I could tell them apart, but I learned that this is exactly like somebody trying to gently color on you with a thirty-story building.
Without dwelling on the tragedy, I'd just like to say that I'm deeply sorry to Mr. Purple and the surviving Purple family.”

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“This means that I don't have to run faster than the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal, I just have to run faster than whoever is with me when the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal starts chasing us.”

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“Kissing the frog to get the prince is a waste of a perfectly good frog.”

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“never underestimate your dumbness!!”

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

“School prepares you for the real world... which also bites.”

Comment

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This was very funny I liked it lolz.

s
shelz19
Dec 24, 2015

this is on of the best books i ever read! am serious people the guys GOOD!stay in her series it will change your live

j
Jaizelle
Nov 07, 2013

I can't believe that Jamie has a beret to look better than Angeline.When a boy didn't see Angeline.OMG

l
lorena34
Feb 20, 2013

This book is funny!!! :)

SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

funny and good to read...lolz!!!!!!!

Age Suitability

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violet_dog_2245 Sep 08, 2012

violet_dog_2245 thinks this title is suitable for 9 years and over

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Violet_Horse_16
Aug 20, 2012

Violet_Horse_16 thinks this title is suitable for 9 years and over

green_alligator_1342 Jun 21, 2012

green_alligator_1342 thinks this title is suitable for between the ages of 9 and 15

e
eggzile
Jun 18, 2012

eggzile thinks this title is suitable for between the ages of 9 and 12

Summary

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SAPPHIREBEAR15 Jun 23, 2012

Jamie Kelly shares with her diary her search for inner beauty, dealing with fund raising, and problems in Physical education class.

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